What would I be without you?

You, who let me laugh, or dance, or cry without shame

Who let me speak my truth while hiding it

Since I know you'll be the one to take the blame?


Inhibitions and arbitrary notions of propriety

All fall away when you're with me

You make it all somehow acceptable to society

It's what they came to see


What must they think when you're gone,

When I'm suddenly so awkwardly ordinary

Without you to give instincts permission

And my jokes are only funny in my head?


A flutter of a fan or a toss of a feather boa

No consequences when I bat my eyes

Funny how much easier honesty comes to me

When everybody thinks it's all stories and lies


What must he think when you're gone,

When I'm just flaking makeup and messy hair,

When even hello has hidden meanings?

Can he see me? Does he just want you?


Maybe we're all just smoke and mirrors


Imposter syndrome and infatuation:

Such an enticingly destructive combination!